Gender Bender!
by Friglit
Summary: A collection of onshots where our favourite characters are forced to experience life as the opposite sex thanks to a malfunctioning dying will bullet ala Giannini. Various characters and various pairings. Open to requests. Victim s 5: the Arcobaleno
1. Xanxus

**Gender Bender**

_After reading oh so many Genderswitch/fem!Tsuna fics, it suddenly struck me... why is it only ever Tsuna that accidentally gets hit by the new Genderswitch bullet/machine /whatever?__ And of course one I **started** thinking about it, it wouldn't damn well leave me alone.__ So left with little other choice, I bated my plotbunny trap with a pink carrot and awaited to see what kind of genderswitch bunnies I could find lurking out there. As you can imagine, I was pretty damn surprised by the sheer variety of neglected Generswitch rabbits hopping around. I think it's about time that the poor things were given some love, no?_

_**Series Warning: This series will contain swearing, sexual references, gratuitous violence, utter pointlessness and enough crack to kill a man.**_

_Still interested? Good show!_

_Just for the record, although I'm posting all of these fics under the one title as a booklet, they are stand alone fics. I.e. just cause someone has been feminised in one, does not mean it ever happened in another. The same plot device will be used in each to explain the sudden genderswitch. This will be explained in the first ficlet, but probably only alluded to from there on in. Basically Giannini has been messing around with Reborn's gun/dying will bullets. Good times._

_Oh, one other thing, you might notice that the gender changed individual will change between being referred to as him/her. This will be reflective of who's POV it is and how confused they are on the matter. In the first one, you'll notice that Squalo is having a hellish time deciding on which to use... _

_And I'm open for suggestions if there is any particular fem!character (or manself if you prefer) you'd like to see!_

_Now, let the nonsense roll!_

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**Victim one: Xanxus**

Xanxus was not a happy man.

That much was obvious to everyone unfortunate to currently reside in the Varia castle. In fact, were one feeling particularly suicidal, one could actually point out that at this particular moment in time, Xanxus was not a man at all.

Of course, although the Varia may consist of individuals of severely questionable sanity, fortunately none of them were that crazy. Yet.

So for the sake of our necks we will continue with the idiom.

The reason Xanxus was not a happy man?

Well, the source was no great surprise. Sawada Tsunayoshi and his group of brats.

Actually, reflected Squalo in a rare moment of fairness, it was really more to do with that sadistic Arcobaleno tutor of his.

And that fuckwit Giannini of course.

But as far as Xanxus was concerned, Tsuna may as well have been the one to tinker with the baby's gun. And the one to have cocked up his aim when trying to shoot the brat with a 'new and improved dying will bullet'.

Of course, like his current... predicament... no-one would mention that it also wouldn't have happened if Xanxus hadn't been trying to ram his flame of wrath through said brat at the time.

But try telling Xanxus that.

So. All Tsuna's fault it was then.

Of course, whoever-the hells fault it was didn't really change Squalo's current highly fucked up situation.

And of course, what with everyone else being the useless shitheads that they were, and Xanxus himself having the emotional range of a five year old and so restricted to throwing violent tantrums and drinking himself into a stupor, that naturally left Squalo to be the one to actually have to _deal_ with this shit.

As fucking always.

Biting back a sigh, the Varia commander leaned against the door frame of Xanxus' suite, silently looking over his drunken, bad tempered boss.

Though the bullet had undoubtedly altered his appearance, Squalo couldn't help but be surprised by how recognisable Xanxus still was.

The same scars still littered his face. His hair, although slightly longer, was still the same inky black in its usual messy, razored style, complete with feathers and racoon tail ornaments. His lean body still held the same feline grace that it always had, even if it was somewhat shorter and slighter than normal. And his eyes... they had not changed at all. The same blood red that burned with rage.

Yes still undoubtedly Xanxus.

But in some ways that almost made the things that _had _changed all the more apparent.

A full red pout where there should have been narrow lips pulled into a sneer. A dainty chin and slender neck where there should have been a strong jaw and chorded muscle.

And most noticeably, where there should have been the flat hard planes of a man's body, had been altered into feminine curves.

On seeing his boss was still oblivious to his presence (he could tell because Xanxus appeared to be absorbed in playing with his new breasts... a sight that sent a jolt straight to the swordman's groin...), Squalo allowed himself the chance to trail his eyes over his superior's attributes.

Xanxus was hardly the most curvaceous woman out there. But then given his lifestyle, that was no real surprise. The curves were there in the right places, sure, but they lacked any of the softness that Squalo usually associated with women. Instead his body had remained hard and taught with wiry muscle.

Rounded breasts sat high on his (_her?)_ slim chest (currently being squeezed experimentally in petite, elegant hands). The lean, flat stomach tapered into a narrow waist before fairing briefly into the muscular curves of an athlete's hips and tight ass and carrying on into long, shapely legs.

And fuck. If Xanxus had one thing to feel proud of in his new body, it was those damn legs of his. Not that his tits and ass were anything to be ashamed of, but those legs... better than he'd seen on a (real) woman in a long time. And wasn't it just his damn luck that Squalo was a leg man?

Shit, it was hard not to get carried away, thinking of running his hands up those shapely limbs. Of them wrapping around his hips while he...

Damn it. Enough of that. If he carried on down that road he was going to get a boner. And if Xanxus saw him staring at him/her with a hard on, he was going to get a bullet through his skull. End of discussion.

So, yeah. It was also an undoubtedly feminine body, (his own physical reaction to it was testimony enough to that fact) but it was not one of your typical fragile Princess. It belonged to a predator.

If anything Xanxus was a tigress.

There was a part of Squalo (largely situated between his legs) that was rapidly coming to wish that Xanxus had been born a female. Cause just _imagining_ a chick doing all the shit that Xanxus did was kinda like one of his wet dreams come to life.

Then again, the rest of him quickly reminded it exactly what he had been forced to endure a few weeks ago when Xanxus had discovered the joys of PMS and menstruation.

The only reason that Squalo and the others had survived at all is because Reborn had seen fit to send Bianchi over to visit for a while to help Xanxus adjust to his new predicament.

Thank God she had introduced them to the magic of chocolate. Apparently a PMSing female went through it the way Xanxus usually went through alcohol.

And it hurt less to have thrown at your head than a whisky glass. Which in Squalo's mind, was always a plus.

The meanderings of the sharks mind were abruptly brought to a halt when he noticed that one of his Boss's hands had stopped their activities to slide slowly down the expanse of taught skin exposed by her unbuttoned shirt and begin to loosen her belt.

Oh shit. Suddenly the clothing on his lower half was feeling that bit tighter. Definitely time to announce himself unless he wanted a painful death later.

"Vooi!" he growled out, internally praying that Xanxus didn't hear the husky edge to his voice.

Red eyes flickered open and lazily swept over to where he stood as her hands paused in their activities.

"The fuck do you want, trash?" the low purr of a female voice, slurred slightly with alcohol (apparently Xanxus' new body lacked his previous tolerance to the stuff. Then again, all that really did was making her getting smashed all the easier.)

Scowling, Squalo stalked into the room, coming to a halt in front of the throne like chair that now looked more oversized than ever next to Xanxus' new petite frame.

"You're the one that sent for me, dumbass!" the swordman snarled irately, cursing his luck that his superior was apparently already too drunk to even remember that fact.

Snorting inelegantly at the accusation, Xanxus rolled over to face his right hand man, allowing his unbuttoned, black silk Armani shirt to slide from his shoulders, fully exposing his new... attributes.

'_Fuck, fuck, FUCK! Don't look down don't look down, don't look do... SHIT.'_

"The hell aren't you wearing any of the shit Bianchi picked up for you?" was all Squalo (oh so intelligently) could think to say.

It probably didn't help that he couldn't bring himself to lift his gaze from the forbidden territory, or that he was now imagining his own hands mimicking the motions Xanxus had been making just minutes ago.

Still. It _was_ a legitimate question. As well as answering any questions and dealing with the afore mentioned hormone induced madness, Bianchi had been in charge of buying Xanxus a new wardrobe. Which included amongst other things female underclothes.

Female underclothes that, if her naked breasts and the small curls of dark hair that were just visible where she had started to unzip her leather trousers were anything to go by, Xanxus clearly felt no need to wear.

Figures the bastard would go commando even as a chick.

A mocking smirk stole over her features at the blatant lust in his tone. Apparently he sucked at hiding it even more than he thought. But come on. He had just walked in on his suddenly hot as shit boss giving him his very own soft-core porn show, learned that she wasn't wearing fucking panties, and expected to stand here and have a normal conversation while she lay there with her tits out?

The only reason he wasn't hard right now was the knowledge of what he was certain she would do to him if she noticed.

Oh crap. That's actually pretty hot too...

"Like what you see scum?" she sneered, ignoring his previous question in favour of resuming the fondling of her breasts. This time however her eyes remained locked on his face.

Swallowing audibly, Squalo squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm his breathing.

"What'd you want me for?" he ground out as he forcibly reigned in his raging libido. He was not going to start playing whatever fucked up game Xanxus had in mind. Better to stick to business.

Letting out a frustrated snarl, Xanxus surged upright from her chair and was in front of him in an instance.

The sharp elbow to the gut, knee that smashed into his face, and strong kick to the side that sent him crashing into the newly vacated seat told him that the gender change had done nothing to diminish either his boss' infamous temper or his raw power.

The shark had just started to struggle upright, his bleeding face twisted in fury, when she was on him again, her legs thrown either side of his hips and her hands fisted in his shirt as she dragged him up to face her.

"I said do you like what you see, you fucking worthless piece of trash!" she spat, the sweet smell of bourbon wafting off her breath.

Baring his teeth in an aggressive manner, Squalo had just been about to try to drag his mind back together enough to offer a scathing retort (and not think about the pretty half naked woman that was virtually sitting on his dick. Definitely not.) when he was prevented from doing so by soft lips smashing violently into his own.

Shocked beyond belief, Squalo could only blink as his boss continued her assault on his mouth, lips soon giving way to tongue and teeth as he sat bemused. It was only the accompanying roll of her hips that finally made him really register his position. Eyes widening, the pinned swordmaster, let out a low groan as she rubbed herself over his lap, before instinctively snaking his arms around her waist and pulling her harder down on his crotch, letting her feel _exactly_ how much he'd enjoyed the view as his tongue began fighting with her own.

The lustful haze that Squalo had fallen in was abruptly disturbed as Xanxus broke the kiss, drawing back with a harsh bark of laughter.

"So that'll be a fucking yes, then?" she sneered down at him.

Eyes flashing in a combination of embarrassment and anger, Squalo snarled wordlessly in return.

'_Fuck, fuck, fuck!'_

This was not a good position to be in. At best, Xanxus was now going to kick him out and proceed to laugh her ass off at how fucking pathetic he was, all hard and desperate for her. For _days_. At worst she was going to fly into one of her drunken rages and try to kill him for looking in the first place.

Not good in the slightest.

So busy was he in tensing for the next attack (verbal or otherwise), the silver haired male was taken by surprise when instead the lips simply moved to bite and lick their way down his neck and her hips began to grind deliciously down onto him as her hands moved to start undoing his belt buckle.

"Wha..?" panted Squalo, his voice sounding strangled to even his own ears as he fought the waves of pleasure that was rippling through him at the dual sensations. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Growling her annoyance with the interruption, Xanxus stopped her assault on his neck, lifting her head to meet his confused gaze.

The shark was shocked to see a mixture of frustration and arousal in those ruby depths.

"What the fuck does it look like I am doing you fucking idiot? I'm god damn horny as fuck, and guess what? Apparently girls don't fucking do it for me anymore!"

Squalo blinked.

Oh.

**Oh**_**.**_

Well shit. Xanxus really was a chick now, wasn't she?

No wonder she was acting so messed up.

"So," purred the dark haired female, reminding him of the situation at hand with another roll of her hips, causing him to bite his tongue to stop from moaning aloud. "That means that you're going to have to do instead. Any fucking complaints?"

As she spoke she had apparently been continuing working on his belt buckle. A fact that came all too obvious when nimble fingers unfastened his zip and slid in to wrap firmly around his manhood.

Blue eyes dilating with lust, Squalo stopped his fight to hold back the sounds of his arousal, instead choosing to answer her question by pulling her down into another fierce kiss, his hands running over those glorious legs of hers.

_Absolutely no fucking complaints at all_.

Weeks later Squalo would reflect on how that one stupid faulty dying will bullet was possibly the best damn thing that ever happened to him.

Turns out that Xanxus is much easier to deal with when you know that she was going to be fucking your brains out later.

Remind him to send Giannini a thank you card.

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_Yeah. So. This is what I genuinely think would happen if Xanxus became a female. Poor guy. First he has to deal with being a woman, complete with the joys of periods, underwire and lace (can you blame him for going commando?)_, _then he finds out that apparantly he is a **straight** woman._

_Thats gotta suck._

_So he did what any self respecting mafioso would do in his situation. He got drunk. Played with himself a bit. Then raped his second in command. Cause Squalo is **HOT**. And they are totally married anyway. ^^_

_**So like? Dislike? Got any particular character that you would like to see humiliated beyond belief? Let me know and I'll see what I can do to accommodate! And remember: Reviews feed starving authors.**  
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	2. Gokudera

_**Warning:**__** Some OOCness, swearing, references of molesting an unwilling man-woman and allusions to blood play. And Bel. Like Xanxus, he deserved his very own warning. Actually all the Varia do.**_

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**Victim 2: Gokudera**

Gokudera was _not_ sulking.

Not in the slightest.

After all, just because he happened to be reflecting on what a shitty life he had, did _not_ mean that he was sulking.

After all. It was **true**. Clearly if there was some omnipotent being out there, it really, _really_ did not like him.

Take recent events for example.

Out of all the people in the world. Out of all the people in his _famiglia_. Hell, out of all the people in the _room_ at the time, why, oh dear god **WHY,** when Reborn's new and improved dying will bullet was knocked off course by a rampaging Xanxus (basically your average Vongola/Varia meeting. Minus the miss with the altered bullet that is...), did it have to hit **HIM**?

It could just have easily hit Xanxus himself (and that bastard would really have disserved it. Trying to kill Juudaime like that. Again), or lawnhead – he'd been right beside him after all. Or ANYONE for that matter.

But no. It hit him.

And now...

Plump lips sticking out in what he would completely deny was an adorable pout, Gokudera prodded his new breasts experimentally.

He supposed that he probably should be glad that at least he had a good figure. (God knows that if that baseball idiot ever got turned into a girl he wouldn't have any hips to speak of!). But considering he would much rather have his old figure back, it really wasn't much comfort. Less if you consider the problems said new body had been causing him.

So far he had managed to flash people his panties a grand total of 28 times (and in the course of a week that was pretty impressive). Damn skirt. He had been molested by Shamal 12 times (though getting him to agree to training and seeing him as a patient was much easier. Then again, he spent most of the time dodging his wandering hands...). He was currently being forced to wear a bra (which had to be the least comfortable thing in the world) by Hibari of all people because apparently when he tried to go without he was distracting the students of Namimori. He had to suffer through the birds and the bees with Bianchi, because as a female he now needed a 'different' version from the one that he had got as a kid... (it was getting pretty scary actually how enthusiastic she was about having a 'new little sister'.) Oh and he had his first ever period to look forwards to. And that wasn't even touching on the number of his classmates that had tried to ask him out.

All in all, life was peachy. Kindly note the sarcasm.

Of course, as sucky as those things might be, that was not the reason that he was currently sitting outside (not) sulking.

No. The real problem was that Tsuna now hated him.

Oh sure, his beloved Juudaime had tried to spare him, still trying to behave like everything was as it should be, like Gokudera hadn't just completely failed him by not dodging that bullet and being turned into a worthless female, but he knew the truth.

He had first inkling that things weren't as okay as they were all pretending, on his first day back at school following the 'incident', as he liked to think of it. In an effort to behave like nothing was wrong (with his friends anyway, naturally he had to come up with a ridiculous cover story about being his own twin sister for his class) he had given Tsuna the bento that he had made for him, like normal. But instead of his usual bright smile and gratitude, his Juudaime had instead turned bright red and looked uncomfortable. Yamamoto, the bastard, obviously knew what was going on, because he just stood to one side _smirking_ at them. He didn't even know that idiot knew how to smirk!

Clearly he thought that with Gokudera out of the way that he's next in line to be Tsuna's right hand man! As if!

Although, come to think on it, Hana had also looked pretty amused. He wasn't really sure why that was though... maybe she was in league with the baseball idiot. And Kyoko had looked like she was about to burst into tears. But then again, women are crazy. So better not to ask.

And then yesterday, when they had been on their way out of the school gates, Gokudera had tripped (over some bodies left in place by the disciplinary committee) and face-planted to the concrete, landing oh so gracefully with his ass in the air and his skirt around his waist (panty flashing incident no 27). Stupid short fluttery bit of fabric. Seriously, how the hell did females deal with those ridiculous things!

So when he had embarrassedly climbed to his feet, he'd immediately turned around to apologise to Tsuna, only to be startled by the blood pouring from his nose. Obviously his Juudaime had also fallen over the cadavers blocking the school gate! But when Gokudera had tried to help him with it, Tsuna had immediately turned bright red and run away stuttering some excuse or other, leaving him with Yamamoto and Ryohei, both of whom were staring at him with some kind of glazed look. Idiots.

Oh and Hibari, who was looking at him like some kind of hamburger. Which was creepy. And who proceeded to give him detention tomorrow in the reception room for the 'indecent display' on school property.

Gokudera was pretty sure that was Hibari talk for 'I'm going to beat some grace into you so that you stop flashing your panties to the school public and destroying my peace.' Naturally he wasn't really looking forward to that detention. An entire evening alone with Hibari in an empty school. Maybe if he was lucky he'd manage to survive.

Shit. He'd forgotten the most mortifying thing of all. The entire school seemed to think that he was dating Yamamoto. Just because the moron had seen fit to 'rescue' him from a group of his admirers that he had been about to blow up (why the hell the ass had felt the need to interfere in the first place was beyond him...). Of course being a total idiot, Yamamoto had chosen to do it by slinging an arm around Gokudera's shoulders and punching out the worst offender when he wouldn't back off. Hence the current rumours.

Although it had been pretty satisfying to watch him get bitten to death by a pissed off Hibari afterwards. Apparently it was the disciplinary committee's duty to punish the student body for their misdemeanours and they did not like people stealing their work from them. Or for starting 'irritating rumours' which apparently led to an increase in crowding.

"Ushishishi!"

The familiar laugh dragged the brooding bomber from his thoughts. Turning to glare over his shoulder, Gokudera crushed out his cigarette.

"The hell do you want?" he snarled at the unwelcome visitor.

With everything that had happened, he'd actually forgotten that the Varia were still in town (Xanxus and Tsuna were still involved in meetings. Not that Gokudera had been back to one since the incident.)

Coming to a halt in front of the irate bomber, Belgephor tilted his head to one side contemplatively, his tiara sparkling in the sunlight.

"Is something wrong, _Principessa_?" he smirked, ignoring Gokudera's question.

"None of your God damn..." began the man-turned woman as he leaped to his feet, eyes blazing with temper, before something finally registered, "wait, did you just call me Princess? What the fuck!"

The Prince just allowed his grin to widen in answer as eyes hidden behind his hair travelled the length of his former rival, enjoying the shortness of the skirt s/he was wearing before coming to a halt on the fe/male's newly acquired heaving bosom.

The grin took on a predatory quality.

"Ushishsishi. Do you want to play with me, _Principessa_?"

As Gokudera's temper gave way slightly in wary shock at the new edge to the blonde psychopaths voice, he felt a wave of foreboding wash over him. Why was he suddenly certain that his day was going to become that much worse?

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Biting back an urge to groan, Tsuna sank a little lower in his seat.

He was miserable.

The past few weeks had been god awful. So far Xanxus had tried to kill him a grand total of 45 times. Reborn 62. And Bianchi 11.

Of course that last one was not helped by the fact that he kept getting spontaneous nose bleeds around her precious new 'little sister'.

But it's not like he could help it! God above, why did Gokudera have to make such a pretty girl? He had a better figure than most of the _real_ females in their school for crying out loud! And just to make things worse he kept accidentally flashing everyone his underwear! Tsuna was only a hormonal teenage boy after all.

And it's not like he was alone in that particular issue (although he admittedly was a lot less adept at hiding it...). He had certainly seen Yamamoto and Ryohei blush whenever Gokudera bent to pick something up. And then there was Hibari... maybe he should warn his friend before he went for that detention with the Prefect... then again, Gokudera was much smarter than him. If he thought it was okay, then maybe Tsuna was wrong.

Still, the very thought of being pursued by Hibari Kyoya was enough to make Tsuna want to wet himself...

**SMACK!**

"Pay attention Dame-Tsuna"

"Ita..."

Rubbing his head ruefully, Tsuna shot his smirking tutor a resentful look before obeying and turning his attention back to the meeting.

Although in all honesty he didn't really know why he was here. All he done so far is sit silently and occasionally act as target practice when Xanxus got to irritable.

Oh and when his father wanted someone to humiliate.

Before his thoughts could go any further however, the door to the meeting room was thrown open with an almighty **BANG!**

"Juuuuuuuudaaaaaiiiiiiimmmmeee!" Gokudera's feminine wail filled the room as the newly turned girl raced in and threw herself at Tsuna, firmly wrapping her arms around his waist as she knelt before him, burning her face desperately in his... lap.

"G-Gokudera-kun! W-what are you..." the reluctant Decimo shrieked as he flailed around wildly in his Storm Guardian's grasp, his face a bright red.

"Juudaime! Please, you have to help me!" begged the silver haired girl desperately as she finally lifted her face to stare pleadingly up at her Boss.

The look of sheer panic on his friend's face cooled Tsuna's humiliation. Frowning slightly, Tsuna took in the bomber's torn and dirty school uniform, her wide, terrified eyes and the numerous shallow cuts that littered her skin...

"Gokudera, what's..."

Unfortunately Tsuna's rare show of maturity was cut short as the door was thrown open a second time, revealing a grinning Prince.

With a distraught wail, Gokudera dove under the table.

"The fuck do you want, trash?" snarled Xanxus at his subordinate, his red eyes narrowing threateningly.

"Sorry _Bossu_," snickered the blonde as he strode into the room, "just collecting my new toy~"

Bending over, Bel reached an arm under the table and proceeded to drag a struggling Gokudera out by the ankle.

"Noooo! Let me go, God damn it! LET ME GO!"

Ignoring her protests, the Varia Storm Unit commander hefted the thrashing female under his arm and made a beeline for the exit.

"Ushishishi! Silly _Principessa_, the Prince wasn't done playing with you yet..."

"I don't care! _I_ don't want to play anymore you freaky pervert! And I'm not your fucking Princess!"

"Umm..." Tsuna blinked in shock as the door swung closed behind them. "Shouldn't we maybe do something..?"

"Why the hell would I care about those scum?" snorted Xanxus in disgust at Tsuna's question.

"I have such a cute student " cooed Shamal as he sighed happily, pondering on the wonderful view he had just gotten up Gokudera's skirt.

"Ah, young love! It reminds me of my Nana!" was Iemitsu's input.

Bianchi just smiled.

**WHACK.**

"Stupid Tsuna, concentrate on the meeting. Gokudera will be fine." Reborn. As compassionate as ever.

"Alright, alright, if you're sure," grumbled the brunette doubtfully.

"HELP! RAPE! RAPE, GOD DAMN IT, RAPE!"

Eye's widening in horror Tsuna tore his gaze away from the door and towards the other occupants of the room.

Said occupants appeared completely unaffected by the hysterical shout from outside.

Well, almost all of them.

"They grow up so fast," sighed Bianchi happily.

Rubbing a hand down his face, Tsuna wondered why everyone in his family was batshit crazy.

Heaving a sigh, he reluctantly got back to the meeting.

He just hoped Hibari didn't hear about this...

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_Poor Bakadera. So oblivious. Still, I think Bel is helping him with that. Tsuna's right though, Hibari wont be happy. He planned on being the one to do that..._

_Yeah, I realise that Gokudera is probably a bit OOC at the end – running away instead of having a tantrum and throwing bombs. My only defence is that I honestly believe that anything Bel might have done is enough to traumatise anyone enough to make them a hysterical mess..._

_I think I'm quite attached to fem!Gokudera. There is just so much possibility for just about every pairing under the sun._

_Actually I think fem!boys who are totally unaware of their effects on their male friends are my new obsession. It's too damn funny!_

_For the record: updates are unlikely to be this fast again - I just happened to already have this chapter ready wit__h the other one and thought I may as well get it up._

**_A big thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! Great to hear from you all! And remember - Reveiws feed starving authors!_**_  
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	3. Hibari

_Sacrebleu! An update? Surely not!_

_**Warning:**__** blasphemy, profanity, Tsuna abuse**_

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**Victim three: Hibari**

As Tsuna stared at the bloody mess that was taking place before him, he couldn't help but lament whatever twisted entity had decided that of all the people that Reborn's misfired 'improved' dying will bullet had to hit, that it had to be Hibari.

At first, it hadn't been so bad. Terrifying though he was (he was still _Hibari_ for God sake!), it had seemed that perhaps, all things considered, it could really have been a lot worse. Okay, so yes, on realising what had happened to him Hibari had gone on a murderous rampage 'biting' everyone within reach to death. Particularly Tsuna. (Apparently he shared Xanxus' general opinion that everything was always entirely his fault). But mass scale grievously bodily harm aside (Tsuna doubted _anyone_ would be walking properly for a long time afterwards) really Hibari had been taking things rather well. (Err... relatively speaking that is...). He just changed his uniform for the female version and continued his iron rule of the school without any attempt at an explanation (and boy did that confuse the masses. Currently the top three theories on what had happened to their head prefect were as follows: 1) Hibari's violent nature was caused by his 'gender confusion', feeling he had been born in the wrong body. He had finally decided to come clean with himself and get a sex change. Although this theory was pretty much shot down as if it were right Hibari – or Fembari if you will – should by all rights now loose the urge to kill things. This obviously was not happening. 2) This was actually Hibari's twin sister keeping the peace in his stead. He was currently off hunting down wanted felons for the government. 3) Hibari had always been a girl. He just never felt like wearing a skirt before now. It wasn't like anyone (bar maybe Kusakabe) was ever in a position to have been around her long enough to have been certain one way or the other after all.)

But then things got complicated. How? People started to realise that Hibari was now a _girl_. With fully functioning plumbing and everything. You can probably guess where this one is heading.

The first one to really appreciate this fact was, of course, Rodoku Mukuro. And, of course, he choose to use this revelation to carry on doing what he did best. Tormenting Hibari. Only now what he was doing could probably be considered sexual harassment. Not that Hibari could ever really be considered a victim. The multiple tonfa shaped bruises that the illusionist sported attested to that. Still the damage costs were getting pretty ridiculous (Hibari had stated firmly after the very first altercation that as his current predicament was all Tsuna's fault it was up to him and the Vongola to foot the bill of any resulting damages. Tsuna had been too terrified to refuse).

But things would likely have been bearable had it ended there. Unfortunately that just was not the case. No. Instead Dino had decided to get himself involved.

Tsuna paused a moment to consider his 'older brother'.

The problem with Dino was that he was too honourable. It was that sense of honour that led to him continually challenging Mukuro in an effort to protect his apparently now 'vulnerable' student. Which was ridiculous as Hibari had make it apparent very, very quickly that he was still perfectly capable of taking care of himself. And Dino really should have known better than to speak to Mukuro about his 'inappropriate behaviour in front of a lady' when still in Hibari's presence.

Which was why the two of them were currently being beaten to a bloody pulp in front of his eyes.

But again, while still extremely stressful, undesirable, annoying, noisy and expensive, Tsuna could probably learned to have coped with all that. He may not have many personality traits that he was proud of, but if Tsuna was anything, he was adaptable. (You really had to be when living with an insane, sadistic hitman).

No. What made certain that there was no way in hell that the situation could ever be something other than one that the mere _mention_ of had him running for the next bomb-shelter, was the fourth and final member of this mad little circus act.

The brunette let out a soft whimper as he watched a large, scarred hand wrap around one of Hibari's slender wrists, halting her tonfa before it could connect yet again with one of the bodies at her feet. A dark scowl on her face, the newly made female turned to glare threateningly at the man that had appeared behind her.

Xanxus. (Yes, you did hear that right. Xanxus. Kami save you all.)

Tsuna shuddered slightly at the horror of it all as he watched the smug Varia leader lean down to hiss something in his cloud guardian's ear. (Although exactly what, Tsuna was too far away to make out. On second thoughts, he was actually relived about that one. He was pretty sure Xanxus' version of sweet nothings would make him want to pee himself. They probably involved copious amounts of blood and dismembered bodies. Most likely his.)

Unfortunately for... well, every living person on this earth to be honest, it seemed that Hibari's homicidal rampage after being hit by the gender-swap bullet had managed to capture the assassin's interest. Apparently violent women in a murderous rage were a big turn on Xanxus.

Then again, Tsuna reflected morosely as he watched his one time rival easily catch the toned leg that Hibari swung towards him in a vicious kick, allowing his hand to slide playfully up her thigh, before he was forced to release her and leap backwards to avoid the punch to his face, this was **Xanxus** that he was talking about. So really, it wasn't that surprising that he had a bit (understatement of the year) of an S and M fetish. Sadistic psychopath that he was.

What a creepy, creepy thought...

Tsuna continued to watch in morbid fascination as the skylark charged after the grinning mafioso in what appeared to be half a battle, and half some twisted semblance of courtship. It was rather like watching a train wreck. Traumatising and grotesque, but for whatever reason you just couldn't look away.

Heaving a sigh, the young don reluctantly concluded that all he could really do (unless that is he _wanted_ to die a painful death) was let this... whatever it was... run its course. They would get bored of each other soon enough. Right?

"..."

Oh God. What if they didn't? Now that he really thought about it... who would be a better match for Xanxus than Hibari? (Well apart from Squalo that is, but that didn't seem to be on the cards. Damn! If only _he_ had been the one to get hit by the bullet!). Christ, what if they were meant for each other? What if they were _soulmates_?

Oh fuck. Imagine the children.

Face twitching, Tsuna tried desperately not to imagine little pyromaniac, red eyed children chasing him with tofa.

Sweet Jesus, he needed a drink.

Deciding that drunken oblivion was sounding very, very good right now, the brunette turned on his heel and fled back towards his home, firmly telling himself that no, he had _not_ just seen Hibari wrap her legs around Xanxus' waist.

Maybe he should take a holiday...

**_*Moan*_**

**_*Growl*_**

"..." **_*Eye twitch*_**

Make that a long one... wasn't Kuala lumpur supposed to be nice this time of year?

* * *

_Yes, yes I know... not what people were hoping for when it came to Hibari, right? I quite agree. Unfortunately however, I cannot write Fembari as if I did I would just wind up stealing CookieNCream's wonderful version – I simply cannot imagine her any other way after reading Cookie's fic! (Oh and the term 'Fembari' is hers too. Thief that I am. Shame on me!) Anyway, as I am sure that my attempts to write Hibari as a female would result in a pale imitation of her work, this is my compromise. If it doesn't match up to what you hoped for then I apologise and humbly suggest that you read (or reread) her Fembari oneshot on Quizilla instead._

_Oh and for the record – the horror about the concept of Xanxus x Hibari is entirely Tsuna's (and to be fair who can blame him – two very dangerous people who's hobbies include trying to kill him. Not really a combination that bodes well for his continued health...). Personally I think the pairing pwns. Not quite as much as Xanxus x Squalo, but a close second. Then again, I am a total Xanxus whore. I think I could be sold on just about anything that involved him!_

_Hope it got a few snickers anyway. If only for the Tsuna-trauma. ;D_

**_Just one review a day can help pay for therapy for poor abused mafia dons._**


	4. Mukuro

_Yes I know I have like a zillion other things to do, but this plotbunny just would let me be! But on the bright side, more Hibari!_

_Incidentally this actually requested by a reviewer (which caused the plotbunny to explode into being), in which she asked for a genderbent Mukuro x Hibari pairing, with Xanxus thrown in for good measure simply because he had been in all the others. Now this amused me no end because I hadn't realised that he had managed to make an appearance in them all so far. Sneaky bastard that he is. But now I have I recon it's going to have to be a running theme!_

_**Warning:**__** Mukuro. Mukuro and more Mukuro. Also swearing and allusions to lots of rough smex. Good times.**_

_**I love Mukuro ^^**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Victim 4: Mukuro**

Hibari rarely, if ever, cared about the daily dramas of the Vongola tenth generation. Oh sure, if anything seemed even vaguely serious, he tended to keep a loose tab on it. He never knew when he might be forced to step in and keep the peace after all, but even then he didn't actually give a damn about what the problem was. As long as no one disturbed him and/or he was able to bite the perpetrators to death, all was well as far as he was concerned.

Infuriatingly however, the latest drama to have occurred simply refused to leave him alone...

"Kufufu! So this is where you are hiding, Kyo-chan," purred a voice that Hibari was coming to hate even more than its predecessor. And that really was quite an accomplishment.

The prefect concentrated on not allowing his eye to resume its newly developed twitch.

"What do you want, Herbivore?" the brunette ground out between clenched teeth, his aura flaring with murderous intent. Had the person behind him been anyone else, they would have immediately started running for safety. Probably with urine running down their legs. As it was, Hibari simply became aware of two slim arms wrapping themselves around his waist and a slender body standing far too close to his own and shivering in delight at the waves of homicidal energy he was giving off.

"Kyouya, Kyouya, always so intense," chuckled his molester as they pressed their soft body up against his back.

Snarling with irritation, Hibari ripped the offending arms from his person and swung around to grab the worthless space-invading-grass-eater by the throat, his steel eyes flashing dangerously.

"I'll give you one last chance before I bite you to death, _what do you want?_"

The blunette in his grip simply smirked back at him, completely unperturbed by the hand around her neck, her haemachrome gaze flashing smugly at his words. After all, just a few weeks ago Hibari wouldn't have bothered giving that second warning, he would have just commenced with the beating straight away. Then again, a few weeks ago, Mukuro had still been male.

It seemed even the fearsome Hibari Kyouya was reluctant to raise his hands to a girl any more than he had too. Even apparently if said girl had previously been a boy. And said boy had been Rodoku Mukuro.

"Kufufu," the mist guardian giggled, as her hands reached up to ghost their fingers lightly over the arm gripping her. "Why, Kyo-chan, I'm just here to let you know that the meeting is about to resume, and that Reborn-san is very keen for you to come."

Hibari lost the battle with his eye as the twitch came back with a vengeance. The meetings were a God-damn mess. A frustrating crowding of Herbivore and Carnivore alike, where the previously mentioned dramas ran riot. Sadly the baby had made it quite clear that attendance was mandatory. The only consolation was that at least the scuffles/attempted murders that frequently broke out (usually courtesy of the Varia) gave him a way to vent. Of course this was tempered with the fact that the worthless creature in front of him would generally use those instances as an excuse to try and grope him.

"Hn," he grumbled, releasing the Italian abruptly and turning his back on her.

Knowing that he would do as the Arcobaleno asked, the smirking female shimmied her way back inside, leaving the Skylark a few minutes of peace to brood before he faced the madness.

Hibari couldn't help but cast an icy glare over his shoulder as he watched the illusionist walk away, hips swinging provocatively. He allowed himself a moment to stew over the fact that of all the idiots and Herbivores that could have been hit by the malfunctioning bullet, it was just his luck that it had been Mukuro.

Taking a deep breath to soothe the anger burning in his chest, the Cloud guardian turned and followed his peer inside the building.

* * *

A few torturous hours later found Hibari sitting with arms crossed over his chest a dark scowl on his features and an even darker aura leaking from his body.

Cold metallic eyes followed Mukuro around the room as the recently minted female made the most of her new body in her goal to cause havoc. So far no-one had been safe from her outrageous flirtations, although admittedly the responses had been quite varied.

Some, like Iemitsu, Dino and Reborn, were simply amused by Mukuro's behaviour, doing nothing to either encourage or discourage her. Others seemed to remain oblivious, much to her frustration (Yamamoto and Ryohei) whilst others still struggled between embarrassment and fury (Gokudera, Levi and Squalo).

Perhaps the most surprising reaction of all however had to be the one he was currently observing.

Hibari's scowl deepened as he watched Xanxus smirk as Muruko leaned over to pour him another drink, flashing him a playful smile as she did so and referring to him as 'Xanxus-sama' in a sultry tone.

It had been an unspoken assumption that when Mukuro's attention inevitably turned to the scarred leader of the Varia, she would be treated with distain and contempt at best, flames of wrath at worst. It had therefore come as a surprise to everyone when the Sky-flame wielder had instead seemed to be darkly amused by the entire thing, permitting her to faun over him even going as far as to occasionally encourage her in some backhanded way.

Hibari found the entire thing infuriating. Why, he was not exactly sure, after all, what did he care who the Herbivore consorted with? If anything he should be relieved that he was no longer the focus of her sleazy attentions. He supposed that it was being forced to watch these disgusting displays that bothered him. Still it seemed a little suspicious to him that Mukuro had finally decided to take his advice to 'leave him the fuck alone' seriously.

"A-ano Mukuro-san, Xanxus-san," interrupted a blushing Tsuna, "but shouldn't we get on with things...?"

Red eyes narrowed slightly as the assassin considered for the umpteenth time that day whether or not to kill the Vongola Decimo.

Fortunately for a trembling Tsuna however, he was saved from his bloody fate by his Mist Guardian.

"Kufufu! There's no need to be jealous, little Vongola," smirked Mukuro as she stood and began to advance on her 'boss', a wicked glint in her eye. "After all, you of all people should know _how much I want your body._" The last words were whispered wantonly in his ear as the illusionist moved to straddle the startled boy's lap.

The twitching of Hibari's eye increased as the air around him dropped by several degrees.

A scandalised look on his flaming face, Tsuna was left stuttering, arms flapping uselessly as the svelte figure ran a petite hand over his slim chest and buried it in his thick hair, pulling herself close to press her small shapely chest firmly against his body as she ran a wet tongue over the side of his face.

Hibari forced himself to bite back a growl at the lewd behaviour.

"M-M-Mukuro-san! W-what are you d-doing?" the small male squeaked, looking in that moment for all the world just like a tiny defenceless field-mouse in the grasp of a viper.

"What's the matter, little Vongola?" cooed the female on his lap as she nuzzled the side of his neck in mock affection. "Don't you like the attention I'm giving you?"

"N-no, uh, I-I mean yes... what are you...? Urk!" Tsuna emitted a strangled cry as Mukuro, tired of his complaints decided to busy herself by attacking his neck with her mouth. Squeezing his eyes shut, the brunette tried desperately not to moan at the sensations his talented subordinate was creating, because _oh God_ it felt so good, but it was so wrong! This was _Mukuro_ on his lap. Currently nibbling on his earlobe... Catching his lip between his teeth, the Tenth unconsciously allowed his hands to settle on her slim waist as pleasurable shivers began to race up his spine.

In his pleasured haze, it took Tsuna a few moments to notice the dark aura of foreboding that had abruptly swept the room. Eyes snapping open, the panicked youth found himself staring up into two homicidal, steel orbs.

"_Bite to death,_" the prefect that was looming over him hissed as the two tonfa snapped down from their arm holsters and into battle position.

Tsuna let out a small, whimper or fear at the sight. Mukuro on the other hand, looked like all of her Christmases' had come at once.

It was only years of abuse at the hands of his sadistic tutor that allowed Tsuna to dodge the strike that came at his head, flinging him to the floor and spilling Mukuro off his lap. Slightly dazed and very afraid for his life, the brunette then watched in horror as Hibari rampaged around the room after a laughing Mukuro, tonfa trading blows with her newly materialised trident.

"Oya-oya, what's the matter Kyo-chan? You seem upset?" laughed the insane female as she ducked under a vicious blow to her face and danced backwards out of the meeting room.

"You will be _punished_ Herbivore!_" _spat the incensed Cloud Guardian as he tore after her, kicking the door closed behind him.

An awkward, stunned silence was left in the room at the noisy duo's abrupt departure.

"Uhh..." said Tsuna eloquently, "what just happened..?"

Xanxus aimed a sneer in his direction.

"You're fucking hopeless, Sawada. Oi, trash, pay up!" The second part was aimed towards a cursing Squalo, who reluctantly rummaged in his jacket pocket for his wallet.

Even more perplexed, Tsuna turned his hopeful gaze to his tutor.

"Reborn?"

Chuckling softly, the baby moved to strike his useless student over the back of his head.

"Xanxus is right, Tsuna. You need to pay more attention to your Guardians. Suffice to say that neither Hibari nor Mukuro will be joining us for the rest of the meeting. Now back to work!"

"Ita..."

* * *

**Meanwhile Outside**

Hibari let out a snarl of triumph as he at last succeeded in smashing his tonfa into Mukuro's hands, forcing her to drop her trident. Carelessly tossing aside his own weapons, the prefect reached out and seized her by the arms, swinging her round to smash her against the wall and pin her with his (now) larger body.

Letting out a grunt of pain, Mukuro raised his mismatched eyes to Hibari's furious glare, and grinned widely, showing her blood stained teeth from when he had caught her across the face and split her lower lip open.

"Looks like you've caught me, Kyouya. What now?" she smirked.

Whatever vestiges of restraint that had existed within Hibari vanished at that expression.

Reaching up, he fisted a hand in her hair and yanked her head violently to one side.

"Didn't I say I would bite you to death, Herbivore?" he snarled in her ear before turning to sink his teeth into the side of her neck with enough force to draw blood.

The body under him let out a soft cry at the action and arched deliciously against him. Hibari let out an approving growl as he continued to rake his teeth over her throat, his other arm moving to circle possessively around her waist.

Her own hands already having moved to press against the back of his head, urging him to bite harder, Mukuro let out a breathless laugh.

"Kufufu. About time, Kyouya," she panted, eliciting another growl as his hands abruptly released her in favour of yanking her legs apart and wrapping them around his hips.

Mukuro allowed herself one last smirk before she dropped her hands to undo his belt and met his mouth in a rough kiss.

_All according to plan. _

_Kufufufu_


	5. Arcobaleno

_This one is an odd one, as it contains multiple genderbenders. Not all the Arcobaleno are included however, but I will be unlikely to do any of the others unless specifically asked or I suddenly get a flash of inspiration._

_

* * *

_

**Victim(s) 5: Arcobaleno **

The entire room froze in horrified silence as every pair of eyes tracked the renegade bullet as it hurtled through the air in what seemed like slow motion.

As his sense of intuition _screamed _in his head, Tsuna could do nothing more than simply watch helplessly and wonder where everything had gone so spectacularly wrong... The meeting had started out like any other, or rather, any other involving the Vongola 10th generation, the CEDEF, the Varia and a few other scattered close allies to the family. And by that, he meant it had been chaos. However, between Reborn, strict orders from the Ninth and (somewhat surprisingly) his father (who knew that he actually _was_ capable of being serious?), there had been a certain method maintained in the madness.

_Had_ being the operative word there. Unfortunately with a small, stuffy roomful of so many egos, bad tempers and grudges, even Tsuna's demonic tutor could only stave off the inevitable for so long. And so after a week of too many people crammed into too small a room arguing about the same things over and over whilst getting nowhere, Xanxus had finally reach the end of his – admittedly short – patience. Although that being said, Tsuna was also certain that being in the same room as himself (he really did seem to bring Xanxus' inner pyromaniac out...) and the distinct lack of alcohol certainly added to the antisocial Varia boss' ill temper.

And so of course said Varia boss had chosen to alleviate his frustration by attempting to kill Tsuna. Again. And of course Tsuna had chosen to try and preserve his miserable life by running away as fast as his feet would carry him. Now naturally Reborn could not simply intervene and tell Xanxus to sit down and stop acting like a child (between you and him, Tsuna strongly suspected that Reborn had gotten bored of playing peace keeper and wanted to indulge in his favourite pastime: watch Tsuna suffer. Evil sadistic baby...), so instead he had cocked his gun and advised Tsuna to stop running away like a wuss and act like a man.

This, Tsuna reflected, was where the timeline split away from the expected. You see, unlike so many other times, the bullet in question did not hit home, unleashing Tsuna's hyperdying will, or indeed just his regular dying will self. Unfortunately no one had remembered about Lambo. And an ignored Lambo is never a good thing. You see the little cow, feeling bored and annoyed by the lack of attention had chosen that exact moment to revive his crusade against Reborn and had charged him with his newly acquired little electric horns attached to his fluffy head.

Not that he had managed to make contact of course – Reborn may have been preoccupied but he was hardly so weak as to be taken by surprise by a child. So he had simply sidestepped the attack. The problem was that it was at the sacrifice of his aim.

And thus back to the present.

As his wide amber eyes trailed the bullet as it spun through the air, Tsuna tried morosely to convince himself that the projectile would simply lodge itself harmlessly in the wall or table. Sadly the way his intuition was incessantly informing him that the end was very much nigh told him that this was just not going to be the case. Still it being a dying will bullet, even if it hit someone, they would be okay... right?

Again, Tsuna had to resist the urge to cry as he remembered Giannini tinkering with Reborn's gun earlier.

He knew he shouldn't have gotten out of bed today...

There was a collective intake of breath as the slug _'ping'_ed of Colonello's rifle and hurtled towards the ceiling. The lump of dread solidified in Tsuna's stomach as he watched the bullet ricochet of the light fixture and speed back down towards its origin. Opening his mouth, the boy tried to yell a warning, knowing even as it left his lips it was too late...

Black eyes widened in shock as Reborn watched his own bullet hurtling back down towards him, before the projectile slammed in between his eyes, puncturing his skull and burying into his brain. And then the Arcobaleno's small body was engulfed in a massive cloud of blue smoke.

A wave of terror crashed violently through Tsuna... blue smoke... why was it blue? It should have been pink! But that didn't mean Reborn wasn't going to be okay... did it?

Not a single person so much as breathed as the smoke began to clear, each frozen to their spots in a moment of morbid curiosity mingled with horror.

Slowly a soft groan filled the silence as a dark, adult silhouette began to become visible through the blue haze. Tsuna felt a resounding clang of relief as he realised that it was not as bad as he had feared... Reborn was alive. And... adult?

Finally the last of the smoke cleared to show... a slender, highly toned, _naked,_ dark haired _woman_, who appeared to be holding her head and cursing softly to herself in Italian, completely oblivious to the fact that she was nude in a roomful of men. Apparently finally finishing her tirade, the female allowed her voice to trail off as she finally began to take note of her surroundings, a confused frown on her striking face. Familiar, sharp black eyes did a sweep of the room, resting momentarily on a blushing Tsuna before they moved to gaze thoughtfully at her own body. A look of amusement flickered over her features as petite, elegant hands lifted to cup her small breasts and skim over the curve of her hips, even going as far as to briefly explore between her thighs – something which almost caused the younger males in the room to collapse from blood loss as their noses spontaneously erupted.

"It appears," she mused at last, her voice soft and musical. "That I have become a woman."

Again silence reigned as everyone tried to comprehend her sentence. Somewhat surprisingly, it was Colonello who connected the dots first.

"_**Reborn?"**_

A dark smirk played over the sun Arcobaleno's face at the exclamation as she lifted her head, the dark curly mane of her hair swinging freely down her back.

"The one and only," she chuckled, her eyes glinting.

"B-but you're _female_!" squawked Tsuna, arms flailing wildly as he tried his damndest not to stare anywhere incriminating as he made, what he felt was a very important point.

The woman in question offered him a sultry smirk as she strode towards him, hips swaying in a sexy rhythm that should have come naturally to no-one that had been a man only seconds previously.

"What's the matter, Tsuna?" she purred as the terrified youth backed away as far as he could. "Don't you... like it?"

"I... I...uhh..."

_**SMACK**_

"Ita!"

"Idiot student, don't state the obvious."

Left rubbing the large bump on the back of his head, Tsuna grimaced woefully to himself. Apparently the random change in gender had not made his tutor any nicer. He should have known. Hell would freeze before Reborn became a pleasant person.

"You have regained an adult body." This time it was Viper's androgynous tones that drifted through the room, catching everyone's attention.

"So I have," Reborn agreed smugly as he turned to lift an eyebrow in the illusionist's direction, one of his hands settling on the smooth curve of his hips. Said illusionist fell into a thoughtful silence as the other Arcobaleno present all turned to study Reborn's form in a new light.

"But as the brat said, it's a _female_ body," Lal pointed out dryly, clearly not as intrigued by the possibilities offered as her male counterparts... well... assuming Viper was even male to begin with anyway. No-one was really very sure.

Said Varia member 'hmm'ed non-committaly in answer to her remark.

"Well, I don't give a damn, kora!" growled Colonello as he marched towards Reborn's fallen pistol, an excited grin on his face. "I'll give living as a woman a go, if it means the end of this God-damn curse!"

And before anyone had the chance to say another word the Rain Arcobaleno seized the gun and pointed it at his own head, filling the room with a second cloud of blue smoke.

"Ahahaha! It worked, kora!"

This time as the smoke cleared, it revealed an ecstatic, busty blonde, clad only in a camouflaged headband and her trusty rifle, the rest of her clothing having torn off like Reborn's as her form shifted and grew.

"Well," mused Reborn as she swept her gaze over the shapely blonde, lingering momentarily on her generous curves. "I can certainly say it's an improvement on your old look."

"Hah, jealous?" smirked the blonde, her eyes flashing with challenge. "I'm definitely hotter than you, kora."

"Please, don't try for the impossible," snorted the brunette derisively, her eyes narrowing as her lips tilted up into a dangerous smirk.

Their fight however, was soon interrupted by a third 'POOF'.

This time the smoke cleared to reveal a petite naked purpled haired woman, only the triangle markings on her cheeks giving away her identity.

"Mammon, you too?" sighed Lal in irritation with her peers, but a vague look of interest flashing over her chibi features as the long standing debate over the Mist Arcobaleno's true gender was finally ended.

Lips tilting up in a small satisfied smile, the illusionist climbed slowly to her feet, scooping up her amphibian familiar as she went.

"As those morons mentioned, better a woman's body than a child's," she smirked as she too began to examine her new form, holding out the gun absently in a silent offering.

Lal heaved a defeated sigh as she finally accepted the logic. Slowly trudging over she wrapped her small hand around the weapon and reluctantly followed suit.

Life as a man... how wonderful.

As the smoke cleared from the room for the fourth time that night, the newly masculinised Lal, gazed at her tall, muscular body in a strange mixture of satisfaction – she as an adult again, thank God, and at least it looked like one that she could use to take care of herself with – and dissatisfaction. After all: She. Was. A. Man. Silently finishing his assessment, Lal returned his gaze to his companions.

The four gender-switched Arcobaleno members all eyed each other up curiously, oblivious to their onlookers.

"Hey, Lal?" asked Colonello at length, finally breaking the completive silence. As she spoke, she tilted her head to one side and squinted at new body of the now only male Arcobaleno in the room. "You ever wondered what sex was like from the other perspective, kora?"

With an angry snarl, the CEDEF member answered the question by smashing his large fist into the blonde woman's face.

"Idiot!" he shrieked as he whirled on his heal and stalked out the door, leaving the blonde to bleed behind him.

"H-hey wait up!" stuttered Colonello as she picked herself up off the floor and ran to catch up, one hand pressed against her nose to stem the blood flow. "Was that a no?"

A ripple of silent amusement ran round the room as she too made her exit.

"We're going too," Xanxus announced as he stood from his chair, the other Varia members following suit. Ruby eyes flickered over to land on Viper as he prowled past, gliding assessingly over her new figure. "Trash, you're with me tonight."

Viper blinked in momentary surprise at the order, before shrugging and letting a small sultry smirk break on her full lips as she met her superior's hungry glare.

"As you wish, Bossu," she chuckled as she fell into step behind him and the group made their exit.

Tsuna was left gawking as the door swung shut behind them.

Okay Lal and Colonello was a little bit creepy, but Xanxus? He was going to... with his subordinate? But... he was a male just a minute ago! A male _baby_ at that! And to ask like that where they could all hear! It was just... so wrong... on so many different levels...

A low laugh broke through his horror stricken thoughts.

Freezing on the spot, slowly the Vongola Decimo's attention shifted back to the one who had started this mess.

Reborn offered him a wolfish grin as her laughter died down.

"No-Good-Tsuna, I think it's time we resumed your training," as she spoke her black eyes shone sadistically, her arms crossing underneath her small, pert breasts, deliberately enticing him to look at them.

Eye twitching with the effort of not glancing down and face still tomato red with embarrassment, Tsuna tried to battle away the feeling that his world had very much gone to hell... and that Reborn was going to be King – make that Queen – of it.

"Now tell me, idiot student of mine. What do you know of mafia seduction?"

It was round about then that he fainted.

* * *

_Yes I have made Viper a male character (prior to being hit by the bullet anyway) simply because that is how I think of him. Then again, I am not up to date with the manga anymore, so maybe I am wrong. Besides, I liked the idea of Xanxus (had to get him in somehow after all ;D ) glancing 'her' over and just being like 'Yeah. I'll have a bit of that. C'mere Trash.' It just seemed like something he'd do. _

_Also if you're wondering why the Arcobaleno all took their genderswitches so well, it was because a) they were no longer cursed, which in their minds outweighed the bad things b) with the exception of Reborn all knowingly chose to be gender switched and c) I recon Lal would be the only one who would really have any issues with it anyway. Colonello and Reborn have been round the block too much and are a bit to perverted to see it as anything other than a new perspective on life and Viper is an epic illusionist. If she doesn't like it she'll just pretend to be male again. As for Lal... well, Colonello is working on her accepting her new body. Working very hard I might add. She's learning ;)_

_Heh. I had a lot of fun with this one! I like the idea of fem!Colonello and male!Lal as a couple, and let's face it. We all know fem!Reborn would rape Tsuna something awful. All in the name of a well rounded education of course. _

_Okay, as always I am really keen to hear what you thought of it so please __**Review**__! But in particular I want to hear your thoughts on who should be next. So far I have had quite a few for Squalo, Bel and Tsuna (all of whom will be coming) as well as some random ones like Levi, Yamamoto and Fon – all bar Fon, of which will also ebb up at some point too (sorry Fon fans, I may get to him later, but at the moment I just don't know his character at all). So who would you like to see embarrassed next? One of the previously mentioned? Someone else entirely? Let me know and I will see what I can do!_


End file.
